.

I'm lost. I'm a fucking drunkard. I should stop this, but I just can't. I love drinking... I love drugs... What the fuck Katie? I'm a loser. I'm a fucking loser. No other words for that kind of shit.

"Hey, Kat."
I looked at the guy. He seemed familiar, but I couldn't remember how I knew him.
" Don't you remember me? We met yesterday. At Jasons party."
Nope. Still nothing.
He staggered towards me. He stared at me with his big chocolate brown eyes.
He was drunk. Not only. He was under some kind of drugs.
" Cheeeez, babe."
I stared at him back. Suddenly, I remembered.
" I think that you and I could have fun.."
" I don't know you so fuck off."
I could tell that he got confused. I bet that no one has ever said no to him. After all, he's the popular guy.

As I stood up, he couldn't get his eyes off of me.
" Bitch. You don't talk to me like that."
He grabbed my hand.
" Get off of me you shithead."
I got mad. Nobody had the rights to do something like that. I pulled my hand back and glared at him with anger.
He grinned and soon, he started laughing. "Y'a know, I've got the power here. You can do nothing about it so, you should just follow my orders. It seems like a fair play, or do you have something to say?"
" I won't let someone like you ruin my evening."
I smirked at him and walked away.
What an asshole.

I strolled towards the back door. Everyone was having a good time. Except me. I just couldn't be happy. I don't know why. I wanted to drink more. Drink, that I wouldn't feel anything anymore. I have always loved that feeling.. Though the next day I'd feel like shit. But oh, what the hell. At least I could be happy.

"Benjamin, could you pour me some rum?" I turned to a skinny, black-haired guy. Benjamin was a friend, who always had been there for me. He has known me since we were kids. I used to have a crush on him. For a long-long time. But lately I had started to get over it.
"Sure, Kat."
He poured me a drink and came to me.
" So, how's it going? Been a long time since we've had an oppurtunity to talk."
I took the drink and sipped it.
" As always, and you?" I smiled.
" Oh c'mon Katie, if you say as always it usually means that something or everything is wrong. So what is it this time?"
" Nothing." I smiled again:" You don't have to bother, seriously."
He sighed.
" You do know, that if you are feeling low or bad, you can always come and talk to me?"
I gobbled the drink down.
" Do you want to pour me another one?"
I could see in his eyes that he was tired of me and my moodchanges. He sighed again, but this time, he didn't say a word. He stood up and went to pour me another drink.
I looked around. That kid, whose house it is, must be either rich and spoilt or very.. miserable.
Benjamin came back and gave me the drink.
" Ben, whose house is it anyways?"
" Do you remember that guy, who had a major crush on you last year? Daniel?"
" Him! No way!"
Well, then there's no wonder why he acted like that. He probably is used to getting what he wants and last year.. He sure as hell didn't get me.
" No freaking way.. It's great that he hasn't seen me yet. What a drama that would be."
" Yeah, it would kind of suck."
" Nope. I love dramas."
I kissed him on his cheek and walked away. Oh what a blast..
I went outside. I needed some fresh air.

It was dark and cold, but people didn't care. They were still outside, having a great time drinking. I started walking.. Away from the house.. Away from people.. Friends.. Why to bother? Nobody cared anyways.